EXTENDED REVIEW

Scifaikuest (Online Issue) -- August 2005

Scifaiku uses elements of science fiction to take the place of the more traditional natural base of haiku. Like traditional haiku, the restrictive form tends to make the resulting poems either hit or miss. Scifaikuest has twenty-two examples of this form in its latest online edition, which run the gamut from transcendent to pointless. Of course, when a haiku, scifaiku or otherwise goes wrong, it is usually not that the poet has done something wrong, as that they have failed to do something right in the three lines granted by the form.

One example of scifaiku done right is the sole contribution by Lawrence Barker beginning, "drowned buildings beckon." With this haunting line you are tossed into another world. The final line's reference to Innsmouth, allows the reader to draw upon the visions of H.P. Lovecraft, but the work is not derivative, as the spell has already been set.

Deborah Kolodji also has some excellent contributions with, "melting gold" and "a good night's sleep". The first describes a shopping trip on Venus with the "melting gold" and "sizzle skirt" to remind you of the high temperatures of Venus. And yet there is a casualness to the woman described that shows she is comfortable in this harsh environment. The poem leaves the reader wondering how different, how alien, one would be once all the adaptations to this environment were made.

Kolodji's next scifaiku is more down to earth, drawing upon the 'monster in the closet' mythos. The poem's assertion that the monster has changed his image, and thus provided a good night's sleep, is restful at first reading. However, this assumes that the monster can be trusted to stay in this new form, and who can say that a 'monster' will stay good?

"Footprints on the Moon" by Robin Mayhall is not as inspiring. It describes an image of aliens on the moon, but it leans too far towards telling instead of showing. Another miss is "gaining mass" by Terrie Leigh Relf.  The description of a crystal universe gaining mass in a hot sauce container created logical difficulties which were hard to overcome. Again, I'm sure with more space the poet could have explained further, but that is the challenge of this form. The next offering by this poet, "water spilling" is more successful, containing a single amusing vision which leaves the reader with a quiet chuckle.

Finally, Aurelio Rico Lopez III challenges the reader with "firm hold" which takes the traditional image of a nursing babe to a different place by showing it suck blood instead of milk. This simultaneously makes the baby seem more frightening and gives the vampire a touch of innocence.  JM